How to Negotiate Salary and Benefits as a Social Impact Professional
Does asking for more feel like a fight?
What if it could feel like a conversation between two people trying to make something work for both of you?
For a lot of mission-driven women, negotiating a salary or contract feels… uncomfortable.
It brings up questions like:
Am I being greedy?
Will they think I’m difficult?
What if they say “no” and pull the offer altogether?
And underneath those questions, there’s often an even deeper one:
Can I ask for more… and still be seen as generous, collaborative, and committed to the work?
The answer is yes. But not with the kind of negotiation advice most of us grew up hearing.
The Problem with Traditional Negotiation Advice
Most negotiation scripts are built for competitive, zero-sum dynamics. They frame the conversation as a game to be won—one that often rewards boldness, detachment, and overconfidence.
That approach can work… for certain types of people. But it also:
Triggers nervous system dysregulation
Feels misaligned for people socialized to accommodate
Reinforces power dynamics many women are actively trying to transform
There’s another way.
A More Collaborative Approach
What I teach is a more relational, values-forward form of negotiation—one rooted in clarity, empathy, and shared goals.
Instead of walking in with your guard up, trying to prove you deserve more, you walk in with the mindset that you and the employer are on the same team.
You’re working together to co-create a role and compensation structure that’s sustainable for both of you.
This approach helps shift the energy from “I’m demanding” to:
“Here’s what I need to do my best work. How can we make this work together?”
It’s not false or fake (if you really mean it). Research on negotiation styles that work for women and POC suggest that this honest, grounded approach is surprisingly effective.
Practice: Collaborative Framing in Action
Let’s say you receive a job offer at a salary below what you were hoping for. Instead of launching into a counter-offer that feels defensive, try anchoring the conversation in mutual benefit:
“I see the vision you’re holding for this team and how much care you bring to … I’m really excited about the opportunity and I hope you see how deeply committed I am to contributing meaningfully to the … (org, mission, team, etc). Based on my research and experience, I’d like to talk about a compensation package that reflects the value I can bring and explore how we can make this a great fit for both of us..”
This style does a few things:
Establishes shared interest
Keeps the tone cooperative, not combative
Opens the door to creative solutions (beyond just salary)
Nervous? You're Not Alone.
The truth is, most people aren’t taught how to negotiate—especially in a way that feels good.
This is where nervous system awareness matters. We can’t advocate clearly if we’re in a shutdown, freeze, or fawn response.
That’s why I incorporate simple tools for staying grounded—because how you feel during a negotiation can shape how you show up.
Want to Go Deeper?
In a recent workshop, I covered:
A 3-part framework for preparing your ask
Scripts for salary, benefits, and follow-ups
What to do when they say “no”
How to counter without confrontation
Mindset shifts that help you actually feel confident asking
I also guided participants through a short visualization to embody the version of themselves who negotiates with calm, clarity, and conviction.
🎥 The recording will soon be available for purchase—and it’s packed with practical tools, mindset coaching, and real-world scenarios.
I also answered questions like, “if I get an email offer, how do I ask for time to put together a thoughtful response?” Hint: acknowledge the offer because recruiters don’t like being ghosted either, and then take the time you need.
If you’ve ever avoided negotiating — or did it but felt shaky — this workshop is for you.
Check back soon for access!
