As a money coach, I probably shouldn’t admit this…

I was downtown co-working and then having lunch with a friend when I realized I was constantly repeating, “that’s so expensive,” “wow, stuff is expensive.” Some were internal and some vocalized. There were definitely enough times I said it out loud that even my friend was getting annoyed.

This was a huge reality check for me. 

But first, a little context (AKA all the sneaky ways I justified my judgement of prices): 1. I recently moved from a cheaper cost of living city to a more expensive one.  2. My brain hasn’t fully recalibrated with the inflation from the past 3-4 years. 

As my own language hit me upside the head, I wondered if these thoughts were really serving me…

By labeling everything as expensive, this could have 2 results:

1. I cope with my price shock by avoiding buying anything. 

2. I feel more guilt for spending any money. 

Well, #1 isn’t really sustainable, because inevitably I would need to buy something — groceries, a meal with a friend, new jeans, whatever. 

Then what?

Guilt. 

Just like food + guilt is not a good combo, neither is money + guilt. And guilt is only a step away from shame. 

Guilt and shame are difficult emotions to deal with, and can often lead to excessive drinking, eating, shopping, and other maladaptive self-soothing behaviors or forms of numbing out. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s very common, especially in the absence of self-compassion or helpful tools and techniques. (This is where a coach can help - developing self-compassion and a toolbox for navigating challenging emotions. And better strategies to move forward.)

Since I had that realization, I’ve been changing my language. Preferring phrases like “that’s quite premium priced,” or “I don’t value it at that price.” 

That mindset shift allows me to drop the guilt and shame. 

Now, I can spend from a more conscious, calm, aware place. I can evaluate whether a potential investment or purchase is aligned with my values, needs, and goals.

What about you?

• What language do you use when it comes to money? 

• What is your relationship with money?

• What is your mindset when it comes to money, spending, and inflation?

Leave a comment and let us know what language you use when thinking about money, spending, and personal finance.

Side note — If you’re into abundance consciousness and manifesting, you also know that language, beliefs, and your internal dialogue affect how much money you attract and are able to circulate.