Why Safety Must Come Before Big Money Decisions
Don’t overspend or panic sell because you’re afraid or stressed.
Find a sense of safety and calm to improve creative problem-solving and financial decision-making.
Between hurricanes, two ongoing wars, a very tense political and election season, financial challenges, and at times even personal threats, the world can feel very scary right now.
When we experience fear or stress, our nervous system reacts. Some of us will:
get angry and try to fight or lash out;
try to run, literally or metaphorically, which can look like distraction, addictions, or wanting to leave or get away;
freeze - perhaps isolating, oversleeping, getting depressed, or sinking into other habits; or
lean into people-pleasing, over-giving, compromising boundaries, etc.
First, make sure you're safe from physical harm.
And know, it's OK to let your system have it’s coping mechanism.
But, try to keep it brief.
Most importantly, actually calm your nervous system.
Try any or all three of these practices to settle your nerves and bring in more safety.
As best as you can, breathe in while letting your belly expand, then extend your exhale to longer than your inhale. For example, breathe in for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 6. After a few rounds of deep breathing, you may want to make a sound on the exhale like “ha” or a deep sigh; this helps to let out stress and tension.
Cross your arms like you’re giving yourself a hug. You might feel like rubbing your arms or gently patting them. At the same time repeat “I am safe.”
Start EFT tapping. Tap on the karate chop point. At the outset, you don’t even need to say anything. Just tap. Once you’re calm enough, talk through your fears or feelings while tapping. See image below.
After you’ve calmed down some,
Notice the physical sensation of fear in the body. Where and how does that show up for you? How strong are the sensations now?
Repeat the calming practice again, as many times as needed.
Observe the outlet your nervous system prefers. Is it fight, flight, freeze, or fawn? Does that differ based on the type of threat?
So, how does all of this relate to money?
A lot of ways.
Stress and fear can lead to impulse shopping, overspending, over-giving, reactionary selling of assets, and generally making poor decisions.
So, if looking at your bank balance or thinking about making a budget sends you into fear, overwhelm, or stress, take a moment. Do one or more of the three calming practices listed above.
Get settled and centered. Then, proceed to work on your personal finance to-do list.
Even if your fear or stress isn’t related specifically to money, before making any big financial decisions, take a moment to care for your nervous system. You’ll have more creativity and ability to make good decisions and choose the right actions.
A board-certified coach, like myself, can guide you to develop practices, cultivate internal strengths, and identify external resources that will help you achieve your financial goals. Whether that's creating a budget, finally sticking to it, buying a home, or making your first investment, your dreams ARE within reach.
Let's find out if we're a good fit - you can get on my calendar with this link.
